Mom was suffering from end stage chronic kidney disease. She had started her dialysis on October 29th 2020. When I heard about Mom’s dialysis I was shattered as personally Ram and me didn’t recover fully from my Mom-in-law’s demise that took place on July 26th 2020.
Just 3 months after my mom-in-law’s passing away I was dealing with my mom’s health complications. My mind was going through all sorts of reasoning, questioning as Ram and I had just dealt with hoping, believing and trusting for my mom-in-law Raji’s wholeness and recovery from breast cancer.
When my mom passed away on February 1st 2021 at 12:46 am, my mind was completely blacked out. I was going through the motions but completely dead within.
Suddenly I looked at the prophetic calendar of this month and I was shocked by the Prophetic image and the month’s theme verse for February.
Psalm 51:17
The fountain of your pleasure is found
in the sacrifice of my shattered heart before you.
You will not despise my tenderness
as I humbly bow down at your feet
Truly it depicted my state that of a broken heart. God comforted me by showing me that His power is manifested greater through my broken heart.
As I am grieving for mom, there have been moments where her face appears and she looks completely peaceful. I look at her and it seems to me that she is untouched, undisturbed by any memory that runs through my mind. I can feel as if she is in a leak proof bubble that is sealed with love, joy and peace and nothing else can penetrate her being. She is beyond reproach, offense. Nothing disturbs her state of peace and joy.
I look at her and I wonder if that is what it means to be alive in Christ.
Colossians 2:13
God made you alive together with Him.
Is that what it means to be truly “dead” that one is unaffected by the negative emotions and one is alive to only love, joy & peace. No wonder Paul the Apostle said in Romans 14:17
for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Thank you mom for opening up a realm to me and showing me that one doesn’t truly have to physically die to experience God’s Kingdom in the flesh while living and breathing. Kingdom of God is accessible in the present we can enter into that leak proof bubble of Love, joy and peace by the Holy Spirit that is within us.
Thank you for continuing to teach me Mom. You are an eternal soul and God’s dream and God’s dream never dies and it continues to live from generations to generations. Thank you for gifting me Jesus and for that I am forever eternally grateful to you Mom. I pray I am able to carry your mantle of relentless prayer life.
Mom, Thank you for being tangible manifestation of God’s grace. You truly showed me through your life that mercy triumphs over judgement and love reigns and overcomes anything. Because of you and your life I will have victories because you have shown me by your life that love and mercy always wins. Congratulations Mom, You have won. Death didn’t have victory over you Mom. You are victorious and you won over our hearts.